Never a dull moment

That's a picture of me singing someone's back/ass. Why?

It all started when I met up with friends at Vintage and they broke out the karaoke machine. I don't know why but Asians LOVE karaoke. And trust me, I do not have to be drunk to get up there and sing...even though I was, but that's besides the point. So I sang the song I ALWAYS sing, "I Touch Myself", and delivered a phenomenal performance per usual. I had the crowd singing along and cheering and "I felt like I was famous" (inside joke with EAM). After I performed, the guy whose back is pictured above came up to me and sang my praises and asked for my autograph. So I pulled out my pen and he lifted up his shirt and that's how that situation happened. I think we flirted for a few minutes before I disappeared into the night, and I may or may not have given him my number. Honestly I completely forgot that it happened until I saw the picture. Oh me. But anyway, if you recognize this person's back, be sure to tell him I say hello.

[photo credit: Beth N.]

MISSING: Two Smoke Detectors

They look something like this, I think:



They've been missing for...oh...about ten months I think. I'm not quite sure. How does one lose not one, but two, smoke detectors?

It all started with the beeping. I took the first down and replaced the battery promptly, but I guess the battery I used was pretty sucky because shortly after I replaced it, in the middle of the night while I was trying to sleep off my drinking, it started beeping again. So I did the logical thing and took it down completely. Maybe a few days or weeks later the battery in the other smoke detector went out and I was conveniently out of batteries. So that one came down as well.

A few days ago, I got a memo from the apartment manager about smoke detector & fire extinguisher inspections so I thought I'd put them back up, sans batteries. I vaguely remember storing them on my island and later moving them to the top of my fridge. Unfortunately, they are nowhere to be found.

I checked everywhere:

• All the cabinets in the kitchen
• behind the fridge
  
• under the sinks
• in my closets
• bathroom cabinets
• in the stove
• in the freezer

Aaaannddd....nothing. I haven't given up yet though.

In other renters life news, I am moving into another apartment in my awesome complex in the next few months! I was lucky enough to peek in YEARS ago while they were renovating it and completely fell in love with it. So hopefully everything will work out and I'll be able to move in in July. I am needing to buy the following furniture items to help fill the empty space:

• couch
• coffee table
• desk
• tv stand

So if you know of any great deals and steals, or even local carpenters who can help me out, let me know. Oh, and of course there will be a house warming party! Will keep you posted ;)

Oh Paris...

Yesterday Paris Hilton posted a blog regarding an alleged assault here in Miami. You can read all about it on pinkisthenewblog.com. I wholeheartedly agree its completely wrong what they did to her and how they treated her. However, I must say that coming to Miami during WMC and thinking you can simply ask the dj to play Bob Sinclair solely on the basis of knowing he exists and being the number one fan of "World Hold On" is ludicrous. There is more to life than being a child of the sky and expecting a certain treatment because you feel you're entitled to it. And as for the person who instigated the brawl where Doug had to beat off "like 6 people", have some class. Tis far better to put someone in their place with words than violence. Don't you think Paris has gotten enough beatings from Nick Carter and Shanna Moakler? Just sayin...

UPDATE: The DJ Paris dissed was Steve Angello who I saw last night at Mansion. Read more on Page 6.

So hot right now

Rich from FourFour was the first to comment on the "conjoined parasitic twin" on Eva Mendes' Dior gown.

Apparently that look is in season. Check out Katie Holmes' new ad for Miu Miu:

Apparently the extra bit of cloth can be used as a napkin. Functional!

Lame Elevator Memo Blog Part VIII

Old people are so lame.

You can barely read it but apparently it's Barack's Plans to "Change"the Second Amendment.

At least the posts I put in the elevators are cute and charming. Hey wanna be elevator memo poster, you're not that cool, or funny for that matter. I bet Charles Cotton has something to do with this...

In other old people news, a good friend of mine was harassed by some old, desperate person whilst talking to another friend of hers. But please, don't let that give you the impression that there are a lot of old, desperate people at Belvedere on Wednesdays. The crowd, the atmosphere, the DJ, Eddie Spettro. All fantastic in my book. Or as they say South of the Border, El Libro! Oh, and I miss Scamanthers. Come back from Honduras already!